I am sitting here in my study where the temperature is cool from the outside heat, but I’m boiling inside. It takes a tremendous amount to make me just a little bit mad these days. Right now, I’m not mad, I’m furious within myself!!!!
My wife just came in and told me of the rape of our daughter’s niece. She is 16 and the guy is 18. I know that there are two sides to every story and I know both sides and the boy as well.This isn’t my first rodeo with this type of thing. A very close family member of mine was raped when she was 16. It was proven that she was raped and the guy still walked free. I have also been a juror in the trial of a rape case. I would say more but It would take way too long for me to tell about any of these cases.
We hear world-wide of the abuses of women; women treated as toys and then thrown away to the dogs in many cultures. Women whose lives are shattered for decades, or for life, because they feel like a piece of worthless trash. There are some countries where this happens and the daughters are shunned for life, and some are even killed.
Here are some statistics from The Center For Family Justice in the U.S. to show you how huge the problem is.
Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.(U.S. Department of Justice’s National Crime Victimization Survey)
1 out of 6 women have been victims of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime. (National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.)
38% of women who have been raped were ages 14-17. (PSU)
60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to the police. (U.S. Department of Justice)
73% of sexual assaults were committed by a non-stranger. (U.S. Department of Justice)
38% of rapists are a friend of acquaintance to the victim. (U.S. Department of Justice)
92% of homeless women have experienced severe physical and or/sexual violence in their lifetime. (PCAR)
Up to 38% of women identify sexual abuse as a reason for leaving their home. (PCAR)
I know my rantings don’t amount to a hill of beans but I’m getting to vent it. This type of abuse has always been, and I’m terribly sorry to say, always will be. I have some thoughts of what we as parents can do to help within our own families when it comes to rape, particularly date-rape.
1) Fathers and mothers, please teach your sons to be gentleman. Teach them that women are a gracious gift given to them by God to be our life-long companions, not a play-toy or a piece of meat. Women are to be treasured by men, not abused. Teach your sons to have respect and honor for women. Just because women are considered the weaker sex does not give them authority over the her body.
2) Fathers and mothers, please teach your daughters to be ladies. Don’t allow them to go out without knowing the boy and something of his parents. Please stress to your daughters the importance of not putting herself in a situation or place that will make this easier to occur. Even though I don’t think there is ever a reason for rape or sexual assault, have your daughters dress modestly so she does not draw any extra attention to herself.
3) Fathers and mothers, talk to your teenagers and have the type of relationship with them where they are comfortable telling you everything. Most rape victims remain silent because of the automatic shame they feel. The above case just came out at church camp. The incident happened awhile back.
For the girls and women who have been raped and abused, my heart goes out to you. I’m not an expert in these type of situations but I do know there is help available in many places. Please don’t keep it hush-hush to the people who need to know and can help. This is a situation that must be dealt with. God can heal the intense pain, but you must have the proper assistance.
Now that I have said all of this, I want to offer some hope to both parties of such an insidious crime. There is no sin, and no trauma cast upon us by others that can’t be forgiven and healed by the blood of Christ. If you are the aggressor, or the victim, cry out to God for mercy through His Son and He will surely give it to you.
May the love of God through His Son emanate through each of us toward each other!!!
Until tomorrow, Lord willing,