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Fathers and Mothers, Beware !!!!!!

30 Jun

I am sitting here in my study where the temperature is cool from the outside heat, but I’m boiling inside. It takes a tremendous amount to make me just a little bit mad these days. Right now, I’m not mad, I’m furious within myself!!!!

My wife just came in and told me of the rape of our daughter’s niece. She is 16 and the guy is 18.  I know that there are two sides to every story and I know both sides and the boy as well.This isn’t my first rodeo with this type of thing. A very close family member of mine was raped when she was 16. It was proven that she was raped and the guy still walked free. I have also been a juror in the trial of a rape case. I would say more but It would take way too long for me to tell about any of these cases.

We hear world-wide of the abuses of women; women treated as toys and then thrown away to the dogs in many cultures. Women whose lives are shattered for decades, or for life, because they feel like a piece of worthless trash. There are some countries where this happens and the daughters are shunned for life, and some are even killed.

Here are some statistics from The Center For Family Justice in the U.S. to show you how huge the problem is.

Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.(U.S. Department of Justice’s National Crime Victimization Survey)
1 out of 6 women have been victims of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime. (National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.)
38% of women who have been raped were ages 14-17. (PSU)
60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to the police. (U.S. Department of Justice)
73% of sexual assaults were committed by a non-stranger. (U.S. Department of Justice)
38% of rapists are a friend of acquaintance to the victim. (U.S. Department of Justice)
92% of homeless women have experienced severe physical and or/sexual violence in their lifetime. (PCAR)
Up to 38% of women identify sexual abuse as a reason for leaving their home. (PCAR)

I know my rantings don’t amount to a hill of beans but I’m getting to vent it. This type of abuse has always been, and I’m terribly sorry to say, always will be. I have some thoughts of what we as parents can do to help within our own families when it comes to rape, particularly date-rape.

1) Fathers and mothers, please teach your sons to be gentleman. Teach them that women are a gracious gift given to them by God to be our life-long companions, not a play-toy or a piece of meat. Women are to be treasured by men, not abused. Teach your sons to have respect and honor for women. Just because women are considered the weaker sex does not give them authority over the her body.

2)  Fathers and mothers, please teach your daughters to be ladies. Don’t allow them to go out without knowing the boy and something of his parents. Please stress to your daughters the importance of not putting herself in a situation or place that will make this easier to occur. Even though I don’t think there is ever a reason for rape or sexual assault, have your daughters dress modestly so she does not draw any extra attention to herself.

3) Fathers and mothers, talk to your teenagers and have the type of relationship with them where they are comfortable telling you everything. Most rape victims remain silent because of the automatic shame they feel. The above case just came out at church camp. The incident happened awhile back.

For the girls and women who have been raped and abused, my heart goes out to you. I’m not an expert in these type of situations but I do know there is help available in many places. Please don’t keep it hush-hush to the people who need to know and can help. This is a situation that must be dealt with. God can heal the intense pain, but you must have the proper assistance.

Now that I have said all of this, I want to offer some hope to both parties of such an insidious crime. There is no sin, and no trauma cast upon us by others that can’t be forgiven and healed by the blood of Christ. If you are the aggressor, or the victim, cry out to God for mercy through His Son and He will surely give it to you.

May the love of God through His Son emanate through each of us toward each other!!!

 

Until tomorrow, Lord willing,

Levi

 
 

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62 responses to “Fathers and Mothers, Beware !!!!!!

  1. lookingthroughanotherseyes

    June 30, 2014 at 4:26 am

    Ahh Levi, I’m so very sorry to hear this. I wish I had time to write more but I have company. This is a very heartfelt and understanding post, God bless you all. I will pray for both parties. Take care my friend, God bless, Su x

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 6:03 am

      Thank you Su. These are terrible situations certainly. The range of emotions is wide.

      Like

       
  2. InfiniteZip

    June 30, 2014 at 4:46 am

    Important words, well said my dear friend. Peace.

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  3. Grace Esedeke

    June 30, 2014 at 5:34 am

    I’m so sorry for the sad news Uncle. I appreciate your wisdom and understanding in handling and writing about such. Instead of pushing blames, you simply comforted the abused and advice the abuser. I was abused as a little girl(between the age of 6-13) by our tenants children who were 10-15years older than I was. I could tell my parents then for fear, but when I did, I regretted doing so because they blamed me and accused me of being at fault.

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    • Grace Esedeke

      June 30, 2014 at 5:40 am

      And worst of all, they did nothing about it as those people are still our tenants and I had to leave home. I think parents especially fathers should also be advised on how to handle such news to avoid making their girls leave a life of guilt and depression as a result of not being trusted by their own.

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      • Levi Thetford

        June 30, 2014 at 6:12 am

        I fully agree. That’s why this post was written so that my followers at least may have think about it if they read this. There are millions of hurting girls and women in the world because of this.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 6:08 am

      Grace, I’m so sorry to hear of your abuse as a child and then the way you were treated afterwards. This is the problem that the girls usually receive the blame. Lord bless you!!!

      Like

       
  4. geoffhorswood

    June 30, 2014 at 5:39 am

    Well said, friend. I and mine will be praying. May both mercy and justice be done.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 6:09 am

      Thanks Geoff for it all. It’s much appreciated!!!

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  5. paulfg

    June 30, 2014 at 5:46 am

    Words are so rubbish sometimes. I cannot do justice to yours. Nor your outrage. Nor you love and passion and anger. Nor your personal and evident faith and relationship. I so wish I could.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 6:16 am

      Your words speak volumes Paul. My emotions run the gamut on this issue. It’s not often talked about but needs to be.

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  6. bill theunfetteredpreacher cote

    June 30, 2014 at 6:05 am

    Will pray for all. My heart cries.

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  7. Andy Oldham

    June 30, 2014 at 6:29 am

    A standing ovation for you this morning Levi! This is a most important post!!

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 6:34 am

      Thank you Andy. It’s for sure one that most won’t have to deal with, fortunately. It brings out a broad range of emotions for sure. Have a great day!!!

      Like

       
  8. Rivera

    June 30, 2014 at 6:56 am

    A very important (yet sad) post. As the father of 4 boys (now men) I’ve said for many years, there are not enough programs, both civil and within the church, directed toward the males, to deal with the prevention of these type of incidents.
    What little preventative education there may be available always seems to be directed toward the female. Perhaps that is why the female is always seen at fault.
    Better education directed toward the male has to have, at least, some benefit.
    Wonderful post… (almost sorry I’ve read it)
    Blessings and prayers to all…

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 7:33 am

      I’m almost sorry I wrote it but had to. I agree with you about the way boys are brought up. Boys aren’t worried about like the girls are. Thanks for the comment.

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  9. Anonymous

    June 30, 2014 at 7:07 am

    Levi, I’m so sorry. Your family will be in my prayers. As a resource I would recommend a book – “Shame Interrupted” by Ed Welch I’ve read more books than I care to remember about sexual abuse and found this the most helpful. There are other things I could recommend as well. Just let me know.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 7:36 am

      Thanks for the book recommendation. I shall get this book. If I need anything I’ll let you know.

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      • Karen Pickering

        June 30, 2014 at 8:10 am

        I just noticed my post came up anonymous. Not sure why. Just so you know its me.

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        • Levi Thetford

          June 30, 2014 at 8:14 am

          Ok, thanks for letting me know. Have a great day Karen!!

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        • Levi Thetford

          June 30, 2014 at 11:56 am

          Karen, I have ordered the book you recommended. Thanks so much!!!

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  10. Skye

    June 30, 2014 at 7:12 am

    I will be praying, Dear Levi. I am so sorry this happened and is happening so wide-spread. I know it grieves God’s heart terribly. This touched me deeply on many levels having a son and daughter to raise and knowing just a bit of this pain personally. You truly did the issue justice in this post. Thank you, Dear Friend.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 7:44 am

      Thank you Skye. This subject when it comes up brings out every emotion in me. I’m sorry for your experience as well. It is a real concern with your own children. May The Lord protect them.

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      • Skye

        June 30, 2014 at 9:13 am

        Well, I do know my son is one of the most chivalrous young men I have ever met. My daughters know to be careful….it is there that my heart grows nervous. But, I believe they are smart, and I know God is faithful to prayers. They certainly will be covered as long as I have breath in my lungs. Bless you, Dear Levi. 🙂

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        • Levi Thetford

          June 30, 2014 at 9:29 am

          I’m sure your children know and I’m happy your son is a chivalrous young man. We are short on real men today in my opinion. Blessing to you and your family!! 😀

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  11. mdetweiler

    June 30, 2014 at 7:44 am

    Levi – The same rage boils in me when I hear about such things. I’m currently reading Jimmy Carter’s new book A CALL TO ACTION: Women, Religion, Violence and Power. You might want to checkout this book.

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 7:46 am

      Thanks for the recommendation! It brings out every emotion. Have a great day!!😀

      Like

       
  12. atimetoshare

    June 30, 2014 at 8:12 am

    You are so right. I’m afraid our country’s view of sex has become so distorted and our children are getting their information from so many sources other than their own parents. I pray that family unity will once more be strengthened and the statistics will be changed, but as a grandparent, I’m also disturbed by these numbers. Thanks for reminding us that this is a sin that will always be with us, but God forgives all sins to those who ask for forgiveness and then go and sin no more.

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  13. mamasongs

    June 30, 2014 at 8:40 am

    Oh Levi this is so sad. This poor girl. All i can think of is her fear. Im glad she has loving people around her now. I dont know why the world continues on sometimes I really dont. Gods ways are a complete mystery.
    Please know I am praying. For this precious girl and all involved.
    Katie

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 9:49 am

      Katie, thanks so much. It is a hard thing. Dealing with this a couple of times before it is very difficult. I appreciate your prayers!!!

      Like

       
  14. Sue C.

    June 30, 2014 at 10:03 am

    My heart goes out to you Levi and the victim in particular. You’ve read my stories and this confirms what the Lord is now having me do. I just started a new blog yesterday, “Cyber Support Group” Hope, healing, & deliverance for sexual abuse survivors. I haven’t hit the “publish” button yet as I’m still setting it up. 1 in 3 girls have been sexually abused by the time they reach 18. 1 in 5 boys. And that’s only from the reported ones. My prayer is that posts like yours, mine, Secretangel, and others bring awareness and healing. Prayers for all of you.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 10:17 am

      Thanks for all you do regarding this Sue. Let me know when your new blog goes out. Blessings to you and thanks!!

      Like

       
  15. Cate Pane: The Clear Parent

    June 30, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Will pray for the victim. Thank you for a very important post! Take care, Cate

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 10:18 am

      Thanks Cate. Much appreciated are your prayers for the victim and her parents.

      Like

       
  16. Shawny Lou

    June 30, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Prayers for peace, healing, justice, and redemption for all parties. Blessings to your niece and all who have been hurt by this incident. God is the HEALER and He will heal in this situation, as well.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Thanks so much Shawny. He can and does heal. Thanks so much for your prayers. I appreciate you!!

      Like

       
  17. johnmarkmiller

    June 30, 2014 at 10:41 am

    This is so sobering… and it never ceases to amaze me to be reminded how often atrocities like this take place. I’ll surely be praying for all those affected by this situation!

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 10:44 am

      It is sobering John, and once it’s happened to one of you’re loved ones it brings out all the emotions again when you hear about another situation. Thanks for your prayers.

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  18. theywhoseek

    June 30, 2014 at 10:46 am

    Well said Levi . . . I am going to print this out and give it to my daughter who is raising three sons. My prayers go to your family. May our Lord comfort and heal the hearts and minds of those affected by these horrible crimes that occur daily around His universe. Amen and Amen!

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 10:55 am

      Thanks Deb, you’re a sweetheart. Your prayers are much appreciated!!

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  19. Elaine

    June 30, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    Levi, what a heart wrenching post today. I know this had to have been very difficult to write and your emotions of course are all over the board I am sure! Will be praying for everyone involved. Thank you for your courage in sharing this with us. For too many years, this sort of thing has been swept under the rug and hidden, not helping anyone. People walk around with blinders on, denying these things happen and as you mention, usually blaming the victims.

    Like

     
    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      Thanks for the support and understanding on this. It’s a very difficult thing to be involved with. Don’t kill yourself moving. I still remember. Lol

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      • Elaine

        June 30, 2014 at 1:35 pm

        At the slow rate I am moving along right now there is no danger of my killing myself! lol I do need to start working a little harder for sure.

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  20. Truth2Freedom

    June 30, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Wow Levi – I am so sorry to hear of the sad news regarding the young girl (praying). Your “rantings” don’t amount to a hill of beans but they do amount to a mountain of insight and wise counsel – Thank you!

    Like

     
  21. Ron Whited

    June 30, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    I was so saddened to read this disturbing news Levi. Please know that this young girl and her family are in our prayers.As others have already stated we may never completely understand why these things happen, and it seems almost trite to say evil is rampant in our day(as if that excuses things).

    My wife and I have endured much ridicule through the years for not allowing our daughter to spend nights away from us,yes even at church camp. But it is precisely these horrific acts that have prompted us to be extremely cautious.Because the hearts of men are growing more and more wicked we have had to make some tough choices to protect our little girl,to the point of trusting very few people(including those in the church).

    It’s sad to think it’s gotten to that point but I will stop at nothing to protect my loved ones.

    Again,we will be praying for this young lady and her family tonight.

    Ron

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 4:19 pm

      Thank you so much Ron. Your prayers are much coveted for her and her family. These are tough situations.

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  22. Julie Harris

    June 30, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    Heartfelt, powerful words…praying for her and everyone involved…

    Like

     
  23. tonyroberts64

    June 30, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    A tragic tale. I share your fury. The rate of sexual violence is alarming. God help us all.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      Thanks Tony. My full gamut of emotions runs as I’m confronted with this especially so close to home. I appreciate you!

      Like

       
  24. Cynthia Reyes

    June 30, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear this, Levi. We hear the statistics but it becomes even more shocking when it’s someone we know. My sincere sympathy to the young woman and all who love her.

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    • Levi Thetford

      June 30, 2014 at 7:49 pm

      Thank you so much Cynthia. You are most kind. I appreciate you!!!

      Like

       
  25. SLIMJIM

    June 30, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    Levi I’m praying for your daughter’s niece. This is terrible

    Like

     
  26. Garden Walk Garden Talk

    July 1, 2014 at 12:23 am

    So very sad. I can not add more than all the thoughtful comments before me, but your 1. 2. and 3. are words I wish others would take to heart. Not enough ladies and gentlemen anymore.

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    • Levi Thetford

      July 1, 2014 at 9:48 am

      I agree. There are few gentlemen and ladies out there, it seems. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. Have a great day!!

      Like

       
  27. Anna Waldherr

    August 2, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    This post touched me deeply, Levi. You’ve always been tremendously supportive on women’s issues. I hadn’t realized why till now. Thank you for your kind heart and for your voice.

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • Levi Thetford

      August 2, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      Anna, I have had more than this incident that has affected me on women’s issues. One which is much closer. Not even that though, the injustice done to the greatest treasure God gave man is blinked at world wide. It’s terrible!!!

      Liked by 1 person

       
  28. Anna Waldherr

    October 23, 2016 at 3:56 am

    Thank you, Levi. It means a great deal to hear a man outraged over these issues.

    Liked by 1 person

     

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